You Sound Great!

I'd say about 2 weeks ago this older-sounding man called and left a message on my machine. He said, "Wow, you sound GREAT. I can't believe I missed you. You sound really GREAT. I guess I should have made an appointment. I'll try again next time."

So, last night was "next time." I was actually talking to a Christian ordained minister who had received a massage from me, when I was pleasantly surprised by the phone ringing. I answer with my business name, and the man on the other end asked if we could take him in about an hour. I said, "I need an exact time." He said, "5:30pm." I said, "We'll see you then." He said, "What is your name?" I said my name and he said, "Wow, you sound great. Do you look as good as you sound?" I said, "So, we'll see you at 5:30pm. See ya then." I hung up and booked him under another therapist.

He came in at 5pm. I guess he just couldn't wait to see the person behind the voice. When he came in, the minister, myself and a therapist were on Christianity and Judaism. The minister decided to cut the conversation shorter than what he really intended, because a client was there. So he left.

As soon as he left, the client filled out the paperwork and then he said, "What's the credit card machine print on the receipts?" I pulled out a credit card receipt and showed him. It prints our business name, the price, a spot for the tip, the total, a little agreement where you acknowledge the amount tendered and a line for you to sign...the NORMAL stuff a credit card machine prints. He said, "Maybe I should go to the ATM and get some cash. Where is there an ATM?" I said, "I have no idea, try the local yellow pages for a bank or 7-11." I already had the inkling he was not the kind of client we needed.

Well, then after he fills out the paperwork he says, "Is this sensual massage?" My answer was, "No, it's strictly therapeutic." He said, "I was looking for both, though." I said, "We don't offer that here." He said, "Well, I guess I should leave then." I said, "You know we have a cancellation policy that if you ever come for your next massage you will be charged full price for the..." and he walked out the door while my therapist was like, "What a pervert."

I feel sorry for the man's wife. He had his wedding ring on. What a jerk of a husband.